Maternity Leave

I’m supposed to be on maternity leave right now. But I am not. Instead I am still working, no baby, and I’m alone in the office, working while my boss is taking vacation time. This is the TOTAL opposite of maternity leave.

I can’t help but think about the plans I had for this time of the year, this year. I was going to be sleeping a lot, b/c let’s be honest a newborn brings sleepiness. And a new born in your 40’s…bring on the zombie mom! Other plans included lots of snuggles, cleaning the house, and maybe a little less “stress”. Probably not, but a different stress. I welcomed it all! But not now. Not today. Probably not ever again.

So what do we do when life doesn’t happen like we’d anticipated? Good question. We have two choices…we can allow God to mold us and shape us through adversity or we can let adversity crush us.

You see we aren’t promised tomorrow. We aren’t promised a worry-free stress-free life when we become a Christian. In fact, quite the opposite. We are guaranteed opposition. We are guaranteed heartache and trouble. BUT we are also guaranteed a helper. We are guaranteed that the God of the Universe will not leave us or forsake us. He will show us the way. He will walk through the heartache with us. He will hold our tears in a bottle. And if we leave it ALL at the alter…he will make our ashes into something beautiful.

I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again, I wouldn’t wish pregnancy loss (child loss) on anyone…EVER! But if I had to go through it to see God’s glory, then so be it. If I had to go through it to help other women through it, then so be. I will come out better than before. I will chose option one when hard times hit. I’d better learn what I need to learn, and allow God to take care of the rest. Because this journey through life is not just about me. It’s about who I impact each day. Its about who will be impacted by my testimony. Who will trust in God more through their hard time because they witnessed what I did. And who will enter the Kingdom because of it! I don’t’ know that answers to any of it. But I do know He is faithful. I do know He will redeem what the enemy stole from me! Because Satan came to kill steal and destroy. God came to give us LIFE and life to the fullest, so that His glory can be shown.

So, even though I may mentally be on maternity leave. It is more of a spiritual re-birth for me. A spiritual time of rest and “time-off” to recharge and bond with my new phase of life. God is giving me a new sense of self. It may not look like what I thought it was going to look like (does it ever?)…but He is in it! He is building it into me!